When you’re making a move, PLUS: Handling the leap to suburbia when it’s just one of the changes in your life
Moving is already a very exhausting task to do on its own. But what if there are also other things going on in your life, aside from the great migration? How do you handle it?
We hear it all the time—and, for most of us, had the same experience: you start your journey to suburbia because of another trigger in your life. More often than not, it’s a pregnancy, the birth of a child, second child (or third…), a total relocation or some other significant milestone that sets the suburban wheels in motion. You’re pregnant and want baby to live in a house. Baby #2 is just a few short months away and you need more space. The new job—cross-country. Kindergarten’s starting — now. The list goes on and on.
While completely diverse and unique to your family, these milestones all have one thing in common: they signal significant change for you and your brood. So the big question: is it all too much at once? Is buying the house—and, with it, making the move, changing schools or childcare and everything in between—paired with another massive life change more than a family should tackle simultaneously?
In short…probably NOT. A new study from researchers at suggests we don’t make enough big, positive changes in our lives, because we’re afraid to take too many chances at the same time. Their behavioral study involved participants making up to 12 positive changes simultaneously and the results were clear: “it’s often more effective to make two or more changes simultaneously, especially when those changes reinforce one another,” they write. Multiple changes at once “can create an upward spiral where one success supports the next.”
But that doesn’t mean making a series of big changes all at once is easy. Some tips for tackling the move to suburbia, plus?
Accept what’s coming—and don’t let yourself second guess
Once you’ve made a decision, commit to it. Don’t let yourself second guess, whether you decide you should stay or you decide it’s too much all at once. Then hunker down and get it done, whether that means finding your perfect suburb and moving out to the ‘burbs, or making more space—or finding the right kindergarten, converting that alcove or swapping apartments—for the time being. Then focus on the positive and all of the exciting changes you’ve got in store!
Focus on one day at a time
When you’re in a period of great change it’s easy to get ahead of yourself—what will I do about childcare in six months? Will the commute be OK? What if the kitchen needs work? Will the kids like their new school? There are plenty of concerns, challenges, emotions and, of course, exciting next steps kicking around in your head—but now isn’t the time to get bogged down in all of them. Focus on what needs to happen now and what’s essential to helping you and your family move forward. The rest can wait—at least for the moment.
You’re moving to the ‘burbs, to an amazing new community and amazing new home—it’s the start of something truly exciting for you and your family. And if you’re not, you’re staying in a great city for the time being—also a plus! Then, of course, there are the other changes coming your way whether it’s the new baby, new job, new school or something else. Let yourself get excited and be optimistic about the not-too-distant future. It’s fun, right?
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